Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
