That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
