You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We're too hungover to prance.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
