I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
