I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
