Me. At least after what I've been through.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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