How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The air was thick with penises
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
