Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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