Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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