He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
