I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
