...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
