Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
