So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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