I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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