I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
