Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
