I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
