yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Drunk is not a location!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
