are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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