The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
