you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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