I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
