It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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