stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
