just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you didnt know i had herpes?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
