I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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