pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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