im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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