We are two peas in an std pod
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
