Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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