there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
