Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
