i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
dude. I can hear the air.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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