Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
