omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
