I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
