You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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