remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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