Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just high enough for therapy.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
