Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
NoShamevember. You game?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
