i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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