He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
