My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
