I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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