that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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