she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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