WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
