I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
