he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
