dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
